A Good Day for Bankers

Today I made my COW presentation, which I handed off the title to Florian, another ex-Investment Banker. Alot of the quotes this week (baring Florian's) were strange instead of funny, so I decided to make the theme of the week "WTF" thinking of this short clip:

End of The World


When I got to school, the front page of the Financial Times read "Snooty Bankers Blamed for Credit Crunch." I almost died laughing. It was an interesting day.

Another good thing that happened to me today was that I got extended another Banking interview, this time with my (tied to second choice) company. So far everyone I had applied for had accepted me for a January interview. And I have to admit, I am excited. I tried to deny it before, but I really do love Banking. Banking is who I am. I just don't like working in Corporate Finance. That job requires the best problem solvers in the world, and I like immediate answers. Hence, Sales and Trading.

I love it. I do feel so complete. And yesterday I turned in my application for the Lehman Fellowship. I think I did a good job on it. With that out of the way, that leaves time to work on my ABP case the whole... entire... weekend....

Madrid Banking Tour

There is a quote from the book "The World is Flat" that goes a little something like this:

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows that it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows that it must out run the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It does not matter whether you are a lion or gazelle. When the sun comes up you had better be running.

People say this a great explanation of the Banking world...

Yesterday was the first annual IESE Madrid Banking Tour. I flew up to Madrid and met Irene (from Uruguay), Gonzalo (Argentina) and Francisco (Portugal). Took a cab up to Cuidad Grupo Santander up in the mountains where we met the other IESE students. Seriously, this Spanish bank, Santander, had actually created it's own "city" away from it all, completely isolated, with 6 restaurants, a day care center, a spa, a golf course, a gym, a mini hotel, and so much more. I've never seen anything like that in my life!

Main thoughts of Santander after visit: Regal, competitive, aggressive, entreprenuerial, macho, extravagent, holier-than-thou, the "Goldman Sachs of Spain." Although my team facilitator Martin worked at Santander last summer and I find he is a great guy... I just don't see myself feeling complete at Santander. I'd have a feeling I'd be really lonely up there without my high rise buildings. And I don't need a city away from it all to feel like I am Master of the Universe.

Santander donated one of their buses to take us to BBVA, a mainly retail bank that is growing their investment banking wing. Kind of like Wachovia was when I first joined. Although their building wasn't nearly as nice (or a city), it was very much in the center of Madrid which I liked a lot. And what's more, the people there were just super, super nice people.

Our tour guide who showed us around the trading floor used to work for Santander. But he was so proud of working for BBVA. I could see this pride in the other employees as well. It was like they were one big family, just like Wachovia is. He showed us to the Fixed Income trading floor, and I became nostalgic looking at the 4 computer screens and multiple charts and trading platforms. I wished I was back there trading again. I had a good feeling.

When our guide took us down to the equity trading floor, he said it was newer so the lighting was a little different. But when we entered, I had the most ebullient feeling... when the doors to the trading floor opened up and the light hit me, I felt like I was in one of those scenes where you enter through the gates of Heaven and the choir of angels sing... I swear, it was that feeling! And I knew this felt right for me! The equity trading floor at BBVA... it was amazing. As we walked around, Irene pointed out a research report on a trader's desk.

"Hey Ann, isn't that where you used to work?" she said.

I couldn't believe it. It was a Wachovia research report! Unfortunately, I was too exhausted from lack to sleep to enjoy the moment half as much as I could have.

After the tour, Irene and I took a cab to the airport where we met Gonzalo, running his hands through his hair (inside joke...) We studied together for a few hours while I waited for Juan Pablo to get off work so that he could see me at the airport. He didn't make it this time, and I was kind of glad, since I didn't look my best. I almost looked like I had been beaten up from exhaustion and general fatigue. I had a great time with Irene and Gonzalo. South Americans are just so much fun.

The Sweetest Thing

Today I saw one of our Spanish waiters who mans the coffee machines at IESE take his lunch tray and sit down by himself at a table for 2 in the middle of a crowded cafeteria. He proceeded to do the sign of the cross before starting his meal. I thought it was the sweetest thing. I wanted to take my tray and sit across from him, but I wasn't sure he wanted the company. And I realized that while I am always rushing it's good to take time to appreciate the little things around you...

An American Thanksgiving In Barcelona

I've never had a Thanksgiving outside the United States, or away from my family for that matter. But I never really considered Thanksgiving that important to me. An American student at IESE had a Thanksgiving party at her house for all the first year Americans. I never really liked parties that brought together only a certain nationality (because I think we should be global and diverse, not nationalistic), but I decided to go anyway.

But when I came in the door and saw David, Josh, Jacob, Jake... I almost pounced on them all! I love my Americans! It was the most familiar thing, everyone talking with the same accent, the same mannerisms I grew up with, the same smells in the kitchen, I came to really appreciate my country and it's culture which I once believed was non-existant. I think what Josh said really hit home: "Close your eyes. You hear that? Nothing but Americans..." It was like a little home away from home.

I remember meeting all these people when I first came to IESE, and it was good to see how much everyone has matured... And although there is nothing I love more than being with people from all over the world, I did finally appreciate my country that day.

After dinner, me being trashed, we went to the BOW at Yabba Dabba. Almost the whole team A8 was there. It was nice to see them all. Spent some time talking to Florian. Although he is almost my exact opposite on the personality scale, I had a really pleasant time talking to him that night. And Josh. What a great guy. And, who could forget, Sebastian.

What Are You Sinking About?

Fabulous!

LDN

Having spent days and nights pouring over cover letters, bank websites and Vault Guides, I have finally turned in all my Banking applications. So I guess my fate is sealed. This summer I will most likely be living in London.

"LDN" by Lily Allen


When you look with your eyes, everything seems nice. But if you look twice, you can see it's all lies...

Te Mando Flores

This is a song I first discovered while in Bogota, Colombia. Don't think there was ever a song more special to me than this. When Alejandro and I went to the Latin Party at Cafe Noir tonight, dancing to Fonseca again (and seeing people sporting those distinctive Colombian woven hats) brought back that feeling of utter freedom.

First Impressions - Wrong Again

Elle Woods: I can't take it anymore! I'm going back to LA. No more boring suits, no more trying to be someone I'm not...
Emmitt: What if you are trying to be someone you are?

I was having another bad day, everything was going wrong as usual. Frankly my life had been so empty until Capital Markets came around. Today was an explanation of the IPO process: a day in the life of my old job... minus all the details like underwriting spreads, late night dinners with lawyers, and the fight for the Left Lead role.

My campaign speech for section A student Representative was nominated for the COW: "I didn't prepare a fancy speech and I won't deliver grandoise promises, but I can promise you this: I will do whatever you want..." Well I was completely aware of it's meaning, but I was trying to get at the point that an elected official is here to serve its constituants. And in Marketing today, we had the Propecia hair loss prevention marketing dilemma, and I tried to explain how a testimonial ad was not appropriate for this product because frankly, who cares if Dick Cheney for example suffers hair loss? It is too evident, & common. Testimonials work best on personal issues people are afraid to acknowledge, and a famous one is Bob Dole's ad on ED.... Whoops. Why did I mention ED? From one COW nomination to another, I bet.

I left class feeling down. I wondered about my purpose in life. Everything was going wrong for me as usual, as evident by my midterm grades for Decision Analysis. The worst grades I've ever received in my life. But I was numb. I couldn't do anything about it now; it was a sunk cost.

We had our Morgan Stanley group interviews today. I ended up being 15 minutes late because I was talking to Sebastian outside about Private Banking. He was wearing a pinstripe pantsuit with a red tie, and I was wearing a pinstripe pantsuit with a red scarf. Great minds think alike.

Anyways, so I was 15 minutes late for Morgan Stanley. This day just couldn't get any better. One of the worst things you can do in banking is arrive late. And 15 minutes late is the kiss of death. I figured I should prepare to get slaughtered, especially after the horrible first impression I had with the last Morgan Stanley sales & trader at the career fair. I was certain that guy would be there to rip my face off for being late...

But it turned out my first impression wasn't a bad one at all. They even stopped the presentation to introduce themselves to me. The 2 bankers were interviewing people by picking out resumes at random. When one of the bankers suddenly decided to pick one of the resumes of his choosing, I knew it would be me. It was a pressure tactic to see if my tardiness had flustered me.

Being experienced in Wall Street, it didn't. I did my pitch, and explained my story. They actually liked it. They said they could really believe my love for the capital markets, and my sincerity. And they especially liked how positively I talked about my experiences. Which was interesting, because I didn't feel positive at all. I felt tired, worn out and insecure. But when I spoke about the markets, my passion definitely showed, naturally, even when I was trying to subdue it in the face of professionalism.

And afterward, the banker actually came up to ME and gave me his business card. He said, "It is evident that you truly enjoy Finance because you had so many chances to get out... and you always came back." For once in my MBA career, I felt that something "fit just right." Despite first impressions, I look forward to applying to Morgan Stanley.

And outside, I was surprised to get so many compliments of my interview. As I walked to the bus, random students would come up to me saying I looked radiant somehow. But I was dead tired. I guess that when you really love something, it shows, and it can be beautiful.

I caught the bus to head to Zara to buy a new suit. Spent a couple hours trying them on, nothing seemed to fit right. Some were obnoxiously pinstriped, some were twead professor-looking, some were sexy fashionista... but I found myself gravitating towards dark, conservative cuts. The banker suits. When I saw the dark charcoal style with faint raised white pinstripes, I picked it up and bought it without trying it on. When I got home I found that it fit perfectly, no adjustments needed, and made me look, well, really really ridiculously good looking. I was made for banker suits. And when all is said and done, when you find the right one, whatever it is, everything just fits together perfectly...

Swift Kick in the Pants

Matilda: So when did you know you wanted to be a model?

Zoolander: Hmmm. I guess it would have to be the first time I went through the second grade, I caught my reflection in my spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking: "Wow! You're ridiculously good looking. Maybe you could do that for a career."

Matilda: Do what for a career?

Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.



Maybe all I needed was a swift kick in the pants...

Today was the christening of Jan Simon's Capital Markets class. I loved it. He had the strength and discipline of a trader. He reminded me of an old Tulane Professor of mine, an ex-Morgan Stanley trader, except she was 5 times more brutal. So Jan is nice...

Jan would tower over you and ask you point blank a question about current events, the reading, whatever. If you were not prepared you will not come to class. Reminded me of Professor McNew, only he didn't charge $5 if we were late. And to her on time was late. Arriving 15 minutes early... now that was "on time." Ahh traders. I felt so at home.

The thing I like about Wall Street jobs is that they expect you to handle alot of pressure. And when you overcome that pressure it is the best feeling. And most of the time, these guys on Wall Street seem like a-holes, but out of the office, they can be the sweetest people, often volunteering for charities and such... but always with a certain aura of evil...

I remember a point in class where he was talking about earnings estimates. My mind started to wander as I remember gathering this data on Bloomburg to prepare the sales point memos after we completed a deal. I guess he caught my eyes drifting left in inner monologue much like JD on SCRUBS. Well before I knew it he was standing over me and said, eyes directly on mine: "Ann. Where do we get consensus eps?"

"Analyst reports." Didn't miss a second. But my heart was pounding inside. I loved it.

He talked a bit more and called on a few more people but then he came back to me. "Ann." (gulp). "Who else got fired?" "You mean in Citigroup?" I said. I had no idea. "No, in Banking." "Well,that Merrill Lynch guy (obviously)... what was his name... Weinburg?" "No, Weinburg is Goldman Sachs." Someone else answered the question.

Then finishing the class, we got to talking about economic indicators and before I knew it my hand started going up. I have not looked at economic indicators in 3 years since I was a trader. And I really wasn't sure of my answer. I didn't know why but my hand went up! But before I knew it I was talking about CPI and core CPI. He asked follow up questions to my knowledge, and I didn't have time to think, I just said it. And the answers were right! This guy intimidates more than Mr. Marketing professor, but I loved the interaction between us. He really made me want to learn more about the markets. And for once I felt happy.

I guess I missed the premarket research we did before each trading day. Tracking the economic indicators... making a party on Fed Beige Book day... watching oil, gold & the NASDAQ while simultaneously looking at candlestick charts... the ISM... the craziness on Unemployment Friday! I knew I didn't want to go back into trading, but this was something I loved. Had to find something I can speak to with this....


... I'm sure there is more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking, and I intend to find out what that is ...

Even A Caveman Can Do It?

The Day I Sold My Soul (AKA Mock Interview Day)

So here the story of Ann's career struggle continues. These past weeks I have been struggling between Industry and Banking. On the Industry side, I could get a job in Pharma sales, move to the Finance side, and with my background as an Emergency Medical Technician, eventually become a Hospital Administrator...

But it all seems like a pipe dream to me. My Psychological profile says that I am comfortable in fields that are familiar to me, i.e. Banking. I certainly loved it before, maybe it's only a matter of relighting the flame? They say some people are just made for certain careers. What if my fate is Banking?

Today I had my resume critiqued by the banking Career Advisor at IESE. And she asked me, "Why do you want to go back into Banking?"

I said, "Well, because I tried to go to Industry events and they seemed wrong to me. I just fit in with all the Bankers."

She said, "Okay, just wondering, because I tried to leave Banking once, and that's also why I came back." Whew. And then she said something scary: "So you will pick Banking now, right? Nothing else?"

Right then I felt a lump in my throat. I imagined this is how men felt when they felt pressured into marriage. Going back into Banking would pretty much be a huge commitment. And I felt antsy, like my soul (much like a man's freedom) would disappear forever. Maybe it was just me afraid that if I commit to Banking, even though I don't see them right now, what if there are better options out there?

Well, I hesitantly said, "Yeees..." Then I straightened up. "Yes. Yes I will go back into Banking." The truth is, Finance still interested me, but where had all the passion gone?

Later that day, I had my mock interview to switch from Corporate Finance to Sales. I answered all the questions clearly and concisely and even bragged a little about my sales skills. Just when I thought I aced it, the interviewer came to me with a different story.

"You seem so depressed for some reason, like you don't want to answer the questions. You close off and don't show your passion." (That's because I don't have any passion!!) "You know, you have excellent and relevant experience, but it seems like you are only going to Sales because you don't want to work long hours and you want to have an easy life. You are very easy to listen to, but you don't have that punch. Like YES! I WANT TO DO SALES!"

"But I answered all the questions concisely." I said.

He answered, "Yes, but it felt like you were keeping me at arms length. A true salesperson would want to open up and get close to people."

It was funny. Anyone who knows me would say I LOVE getting close to people. I wasn't aware that I was so distant.

"Must be my Corporate Finance background," I rationalized.

But it must be something else. Sure, I was not really passionate about Banking, but was I passionate about anything at all? Even Medicine? I could be. I don't know. But Pharma seems so far away, and Banking seems so regimented, forcing me to commitment through each strategically planned step.

Sure, I can fake it. I can fake passion for Banking, and I can say Sales is the best thing ever. But at the end of the day, I still don't know what I want.

I have a lot of thinking to do.

My First Time.... Riding A Moto

So after the Accounting exam (which was a bit tricky I admit, some things seemed too easy, but we will wait and see...) Prasad took me to buy a moto. We decided on the Honda LEAD, 100cc, but they didn't have it in my signature color, Red, so we decided to wait until later. I was just going to buy one and ride it off into the sunset, but Prasad suggested I take some lessons first. So I went to Cooltra to have some lessons in Barceloneta.

I had this Italian teacher, Francesco, and we did the lesson in Spanish. He taught me a little about the moto, and told me to give it a try. So I gave it some gas, and it took off!!! It was swerving all over the place, I was screaming and before I knew it, I was on the floor & the moto was on top of me! (If any of you say "sounds like a typical date", you lose a body part... I am a good girl). Ouch. Very ouch.

So it seemed like I would be a challenge student, and I was a little scared to embark on the moto again. Francesco sat behind me and told me to place my hands on top of his to feel what he was doing to the moto. I did that for a few times, then he told me to try myself. He put his hands on top of mine to control me. I made him sit behind me for a while to make sure I got the balance. Then he got off and I practiced alone. We spent the entire afternoon with this moto until I depleted the gas tank. I need a lot more practice.

That night I didn't have time to siesta before partying because I was talking to Daamian, Prasad, Nico and Juan Pablo online all at the same time.

Felix and I got dressed for the M for Marc party. Felix was a Monkey. I was going to go as Marilyn Monroe, but I figured no one would get me if I didn't have a blonde wig. Why did I have to be a brunette, whyyyyy??? So I just pinned some Euro bills on a cute outfit and I was "sooo Money."

After the party David and I went to Opium. He was dressed very nicely and such a Southern gentleman last night. We also met Sebastian, who was wearing my favorite color, Red! We both were drinking vodka tonics, so cute. Pretty soon David and I were talking with Victor and his wife, who was American. It seemed like Americans and Spaniards ended up getting together quite often! Victor from Barca and his wife, David and his Spanish girlfriend Maria, and me...

Had some drinks with Martin downstairs until the club closed. A few IESE students were heading to Sutton, but I decided to go home, having had an average of 4 hours sleep per night studying for midterms. Got home at 6AM.

Respect Accounting

I remember the first time I fell in love with Business. They didn't let us enter the Business School at Tulane until after 2 years of Liberal Arts education, so the only Business class you were allowed to take in that period was Accounting. Call me cheesy, call me a geek, but I loved that class. I used to study Accounting long nights in the Business School breakout rooms, while dreaming of becoming an Investment Banker.

And what's more, Accounting saved my life. I remember Halloween Freshman year, I was drinking Hand Granades on Bourbon Street with my friends, but was feeling so down because I just had my heart broken for the very first time. I decided to leave early and go to the business school, which was deserted, to study Accounting. Strangly enough, Accounting was very theraputic for me. Everything balanced, everything had a place on the General Ledger and the T-Accounts. It was as if to say that even though my life was a mess, and I was unhappy, at least somewhere everything worked out. Everything belonged somewhere. Everything balanced.

My Accounting teacher used to say "Assets equal Liabilities plus Equity, always and forever." I loved that phrase. It gave me security to know that this simple but powerful equation, is stable and true, always and forever. And another thing: For every debit was an equal and corresponding credit. (Per transaction). It's as if to say, whatever you put in, you get out. Your efforts are always accounted for in some way. That's how I want my relationships to be.

Everyone, please respect the beauty of Accounting... And good luck on tomorrow's midterm!

In Other News, I Danced With This Amazing Austrian Guy Named Daniel... Oooh Daniel.

So I was challenged by an MBA companion of mine, Antonio Banderas (just joking), to grab the nearest book and flip it open to 161 and print the first full sentence here.

So now you all know a sentence in my diary.

But seriously. The next book closest to me happens to be my favorite: The European Dream by Jeremy Rifkin. It was actually the book that made me leave America for Europe. And page 161 happens to be the start of a new chapter: "Forging Capitalist Markets and Nation-States." Here goes.

"The market economy has become such a pervasive force in modern life that we have come to think of it as almost like a force of nature. We Americans would be utterly lost were the marketplace not the centerpiece of our existence. While markets existed far back into antiquity, they were always marginal to social life."

Yeah so 5 of youse guys out there are supposed to do this same exercise. Don't make me call the Italian side of my family to come break your legs if you don't...

Lost & Found: My Confidence

Lately I have been very quiet in class. Why don´t I speak up? I don´t get yelled at by the Marketing professor anymore. I guess I feel that my contributions would be insignificant and that people spend a lot of money to be here, and they don´t need my blabber. But today I got report that I should speak up more in class.

I have opinions, but I feel they are too intuitive to be of interest in a number intensive class. I have great ideas that are always first expressed by other people because I am too hestitant.

Today in Managing People, my favorite class, I left a little down. I was discussing with Marco how I would handle the situation, but I was too scared to raise my hand. I delved deep into the minds of both people, but somehow felt unpropelled to say a thing. I need to find out where my confidence has gone....

MBA in a Nutshell

It's Midterm season!!! Guys, Relax! When the cases seem to be endless, the Investment Banking receptions soulless, the Consulting interviews straining, let's put this whole MBA thing into perspective... don't take it too seriously! Because this is how Business School really is:



Can you believe I actually used to salsa dance with that guy in the purple??

Disclaimer:
Now I am not suggesting you neglect your studies, all I'm saying is that an MBA, or your job, or work is not the end all be all of your existance. (That is why I left America.) There are more meaningful things in life that you should take advantage of. So stop working on cases until 2AM, snap out of that bad mood, stop neglecting your wife or girlfriend & live a little!!! An MBA, as well as life, is supposed to be as fun as it is enriching!!