Tribute to Team A8

I love my team at IESE!! Below, a tribute:

Team Secret Santa:


Some of us at the Christmas Ball:


Our awesome MPO video:


Oh so arresting at the Bar Crawl:


With many more adventures to come!!

My Airport Adventures

I have literally been in the airport the past 2 days. Wednesday night was the IESE Christmas party. Italian Marco brought his Colombian hats, which I pounced on anyone wearing one. Certainly brought back memories of partying in Bogota, and that made me really happy. All that was missing was the salsa. I left for the airport at 6:00h, without having slept a wink, my head still spinning with a very pleasurable feeling.

I checked in and waited for my connecting flight to Paris, fell asleep a few times on the chairs waiting… but one time, I woke up and the flight was “retrasado” (delayed), and I blinked, and the flight disappeared and reappeared in the next gate. Todavia retrasado. So I went there. But when my turn came up, the flight attendant said that my flight had left at 9:30h, and it was 11:00h. So I argued a bit with Air France, then Continental, then American Express travel to book me another flight, and I went back home to the flat, fell asleep in the cab, in the middle of telling something to the driver in Spanish… When I got home, Felix was knocked out! Turns out he had a fun night too.

The next day, I woke up early to catch a cab, but ended up waiting unsuccessfully for available cabs, which there were none. Guillermo ended up taking me to the airport, but by then I was over 30 mins late to check-in, and was worried about missing another flight.

On the flight, I had to sit next to this obnoxious American guy. He kept rudely demanding beers from the flight attendant, then complaining that 4 EUR = 5 USD was a horrible exchange rate, when in fact it was about a 20% discount. I was so embarrassed to be American. Is this what I was coming home to? Then all of his friends started saying these horrible jokes like “How many Spaniards does it take to screw in a light bulb? JUAN!!!” Oh God. Please. I asked the kid’s friend to switch seats with me so that I could get the heck out of the inanity.

Our flight was delayed from Barcelona to Newark. When I got to the States, I tried to call American Marco on my cell to tell him I was here, but realized my Spanish cell phone only allowed emergency calls. So I snuck into a “Meditation Room” thinking they had internet access there & I could IM him at work… I don’t know what I was thinking, but there was no internet access in the Meditation Room…

My first impression being back in the US is that I felt relatively unsafe. Usually I don’t have any fear walking alone in Barcelona, at any hour of the day or night, but immediately upon entering the US, those old fears came back. (Must be all those stories of kidnapping and murder on CNN.) Plus, there are guns here. I don’t know how I feel about that. I don’t want to live in a place where handguns are legal. I miss Europe. On the bright side, I didn’t have to worry about speaking Spanish to everyone… but I was also sad that I didn’t have to speak Spanish to everyone.

So my flight from Newark to Austin was delayed another 3 hours, which made the connecting time a whopping 8 hours. It is currently 23:15h in New Jersey, and 5:15h in Barcelona, and I have been at airports and in the air since 9:00h this morning Barcelona time… I expect to be landing into Austin at 3:30h, day 3.

MBA 2H07 Progress Report & Year End Guidance

You all hold stock in my future. Because I believe we all are connected in the world by some higher force, and whatever I do has a ripple effect that influences so many peoples' lives. And whatever you do has an indirect effect on me. Therefore we all hold stock in one another. And as companies issue guidance and earnings reports, this is summary of the first half of Year 1 MBA programme at IESE.

Past:
The first few months were extremely hard for me. I struggled not only with the change of living in a very different country, but exactly where I was going in life. Uncertainty abound.
-I couldn't speak Spanish well
-I felt like I could never measure up in class
-The workload was horrible & I couldn't understand a thing
-My personal life was a mess
-I missed home & salsa
-I didn't know if I wanted to stay in Spain or go back to the US, and I came here to settle down in Spain
-I was trying to run away from Banking
-I had no purpose in life; I was not transcendentally motivated

Present:
I guess the turning point was Jan Simon's Capital Market class, which was run like a boot camp. It snapped me into shape. To him I will always be thankful.
-I decided to go back into Banking, from Corporate Finance to Sales & Trading
-The expertise I had in that Capital Markets & Managing People actually made me feel I was contributing something substantial
-The same people I always thought I could never measure up to were telling me that I am smart
-Mi ex novio de Colombia me dijo que "te felicito porq q tu espanol va super super bien!"
-I decided to abandon ship on my personal life (no need to be unhappy all the time!)
-I decided to concentrate on my career in Banking... I am very excited about the possibility of working in London! And for a great bank with integrity, client-focus, professionalism and a great work environment... I have a few in mind!

1Q08 Guidance
So what are my goals for next quarter?
-Solidify intermediate term career path (meaning next summer) with an internship in Sales & Trading. (I hope to be a Managing Director & Head of a Sales desk someday...)
-Increase confidence by speaking up more in class. I must let go of this fear that what I say is insignificant.
-To not be afraid to submerge myself into Spanish. This may be my last chance to live in Spain.
-To not be afraid to let go and let the "career river" take me along for a ride. Not everything has to be planned.

By the way, don't read the text in italics if Finance bores you...

Proposed Investment Strategy for next term:
If you had to invest in my life, this is what I would suggest, from an insiders' perspective ;-)
1) Go long the underlying on my professional life. It's a great investment, stable cashflows, and bound to be very bright.
2) Write a naked call on my personal life. I don't expect this to go anywhere, with next semester expected to be harder than the first, and I don't want to deal with all the drama. If anything DOES happen in my personal life, it will most likely not be good, and the underlying will shoot down, rapidly increasing your profit. If nothing happens, you make the premium.
3) Take a bottom straddle option position on my performance in school. Basically, this is betting my performance will stay constant throughout the term. I can already see classes I can excel in, and classes that will be like DA to me... althrough there will be advances in the learning curve, all gains there will be taken by the fact that next semester will be more quantitative than the last...

There you go... the guidance report.
The last day of finals was today. IESE has a tradition to clean out the bar of their entire stock of cervesas after the last final. It was nice to see my friends from Section C and B all together. I stayed at IESE writing my MPO paper with Gonzalo after a few beers. The annual Christmas Party is tonight. And tomorrow, I hop on a plane back to the States. I am excited to be back home, but a part of me is missing Spain already.

My Philosophy

A few days ago, I was sending out the daily Capital Markets update to my team when my email crashed. When I reopenned the mail, I received the latest Career Services interview update... turned down for another Private Wealth Management internship.

I like my signs loud and clear. I, like the markets, do not like uncertainty. And it seems like something is telling me that I am meant to be in Sales & Trading. So far I've got 100% return on interviews in Sales & Trading (even from ones with glaring errors in the cover letters) and 0% return on Private Wealth. Okay, I get it.

And then I took the StrengthFinder 2.0 (cue dramatic music) and the results confirmed my suspicions.

My main 5 strengths were:
Woo: Ability to win people over. Woo sounds like this: "I have made best friends out of people that I have met passing in the doorway. I mean, it's awful, but wooing is part of who I am. I call people and say, 'I love you' and I mean it because I love people easily. All my taxi drivers propose to me." Oh yes....
Communication: Ability to influence & persuade
Positivity: Always looking on the bright side
Empathy: Putting yourself in another's shoes
Includer: An instinctly accepting person. Regardless of race, sex or nationality you cast few judgements.

And then I saw that this was basically the characteristics of a very good Salesperson. Just another sign that I was on the right track. Things were beginning to fall in place.

I think that most people concentrate on 'fixing' their weaknesses, instead of developing their strengths. My philosophy is that I'd go a lot farther in life by simply investing in my strengths.

Mark Twain once described a man who died and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Knowing that St. Peter was very wise, the man asked a question that he had wondered about throughout his life.

"St. Peter, I have been interested in military history for many years. Who was the greatest general of all time?"

St. Peter responded, "Oh, that's simple. It's that man over there."

"You must be mistaken," responded the man. "I knew that man on earth, and he was just a common laborer."

"That's right my friend," assured St. Peter. "He would have been the greatest general of all time, if he had been a general."

So I've decided that I'm not going to rip my head off trying to understand Decision Analysis. I've studied with many engineers, consultants, and even the professor. But I will never be able to compete with all the smart people in my class for a top grade in DA, or ABP. So I am going to spend my weekend focusing on my strengths, ie studying Accounting, Managing People & Capital Markets, because these are the things that will be more useful in my career... where I'm meant to be.

Fishy Spanish Business Deals

So I was writing my paper for MPO when I am suddenly entered into a Skype chat by this Spanish currency trader who had added me to his Skype list a while back. I accepted him into my contact list because he was wearing a suit... and was Spanish... ;-)

Well the conversation went something like this:

[10:10:49 PM] Fernando Cordoba Kruger says: hola quien eres
[10:11:07 PM] Francisco Xabier Garro says: pues yo soy yo. Xabier
[10:11:26 PM] Fernando Cordoba Kruger says: d donde??
[10:11:34 PM] Francisco Xabier Garro says: de españa, navarra
[10:11:40 PM] Ivo says: soy de ecuador
[10:11:49 PM] Ivo says: tu me dijiste para entrar en un negocio...
[10:12:29 PM] Francisco Xabier Garro says: Ingreso a la sala: http://www.hotconference.com/software/conference.php?id=89905729

Hotconference.com??? WTF, mate!

Occam's Razor

There is an age old principle you hear a lot about in Medicine, Occam's Razor, which is paraphrased to say "All other things being equal, the simplest solution is the best." We all search for that moment in life where the answer chrystalizes in front of you... when you know, without a doubt, that this is what you are supposed to do with the problem. And it is most often the simpliest solution.

For me, the answer chrystalized when I was writing the second ABP paper. Suddenly I felt the urge to announce that I've finally found my purpose in life. I've rediscovered my love for Banking! I simply love the markets. And I could finally say, with enthusiasm, that "I want to be in Sales & Trading!!!" And this MBA made me rediscover that, with a swift kick in the pants.

At first, I had my doubts about London, and now I am excited of the possibility of moving there and spending the next few years of my life in the United Kingdom. At least I won't be earning in dollars....

And the holiday season is here. What a lovely time of year to be in!

Make that a Great Day for Bankers

I just keep on looking in my inbox and getting interviews! So far I'm 3/3. Only 4 more English banks to go, and the rest are Spanish, which go on a different time schedule. I'm going to be busy in January.... with more dinners, more technical interviews, more trading business cards, more of everything I like as a Banker.

A Good Day for Bankers

Today I made my COW presentation, which I handed off the title to Florian, another ex-Investment Banker. Alot of the quotes this week (baring Florian's) were strange instead of funny, so I decided to make the theme of the week "WTF" thinking of this short clip:

End of The World


When I got to school, the front page of the Financial Times read "Snooty Bankers Blamed for Credit Crunch." I almost died laughing. It was an interesting day.

Another good thing that happened to me today was that I got extended another Banking interview, this time with my (tied to second choice) company. So far everyone I had applied for had accepted me for a January interview. And I have to admit, I am excited. I tried to deny it before, but I really do love Banking. Banking is who I am. I just don't like working in Corporate Finance. That job requires the best problem solvers in the world, and I like immediate answers. Hence, Sales and Trading.

I love it. I do feel so complete. And yesterday I turned in my application for the Lehman Fellowship. I think I did a good job on it. With that out of the way, that leaves time to work on my ABP case the whole... entire... weekend....

Madrid Banking Tour

There is a quote from the book "The World is Flat" that goes a little something like this:

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows that it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows that it must out run the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It does not matter whether you are a lion or gazelle. When the sun comes up you had better be running.

People say this a great explanation of the Banking world...

Yesterday was the first annual IESE Madrid Banking Tour. I flew up to Madrid and met Irene (from Uruguay), Gonzalo (Argentina) and Francisco (Portugal). Took a cab up to Cuidad Grupo Santander up in the mountains where we met the other IESE students. Seriously, this Spanish bank, Santander, had actually created it's own "city" away from it all, completely isolated, with 6 restaurants, a day care center, a spa, a golf course, a gym, a mini hotel, and so much more. I've never seen anything like that in my life!

Main thoughts of Santander after visit: Regal, competitive, aggressive, entreprenuerial, macho, extravagent, holier-than-thou, the "Goldman Sachs of Spain." Although my team facilitator Martin worked at Santander last summer and I find he is a great guy... I just don't see myself feeling complete at Santander. I'd have a feeling I'd be really lonely up there without my high rise buildings. And I don't need a city away from it all to feel like I am Master of the Universe.

Santander donated one of their buses to take us to BBVA, a mainly retail bank that is growing their investment banking wing. Kind of like Wachovia was when I first joined. Although their building wasn't nearly as nice (or a city), it was very much in the center of Madrid which I liked a lot. And what's more, the people there were just super, super nice people.

Our tour guide who showed us around the trading floor used to work for Santander. But he was so proud of working for BBVA. I could see this pride in the other employees as well. It was like they were one big family, just like Wachovia is. He showed us to the Fixed Income trading floor, and I became nostalgic looking at the 4 computer screens and multiple charts and trading platforms. I wished I was back there trading again. I had a good feeling.

When our guide took us down to the equity trading floor, he said it was newer so the lighting was a little different. But when we entered, I had the most ebullient feeling... when the doors to the trading floor opened up and the light hit me, I felt like I was in one of those scenes where you enter through the gates of Heaven and the choir of angels sing... I swear, it was that feeling! And I knew this felt right for me! The equity trading floor at BBVA... it was amazing. As we walked around, Irene pointed out a research report on a trader's desk.

"Hey Ann, isn't that where you used to work?" she said.

I couldn't believe it. It was a Wachovia research report! Unfortunately, I was too exhausted from lack to sleep to enjoy the moment half as much as I could have.

After the tour, Irene and I took a cab to the airport where we met Gonzalo, running his hands through his hair (inside joke...) We studied together for a few hours while I waited for Juan Pablo to get off work so that he could see me at the airport. He didn't make it this time, and I was kind of glad, since I didn't look my best. I almost looked like I had been beaten up from exhaustion and general fatigue. I had a great time with Irene and Gonzalo. South Americans are just so much fun.

The Sweetest Thing

Today I saw one of our Spanish waiters who mans the coffee machines at IESE take his lunch tray and sit down by himself at a table for 2 in the middle of a crowded cafeteria. He proceeded to do the sign of the cross before starting his meal. I thought it was the sweetest thing. I wanted to take my tray and sit across from him, but I wasn't sure he wanted the company. And I realized that while I am always rushing it's good to take time to appreciate the little things around you...

An American Thanksgiving In Barcelona

I've never had a Thanksgiving outside the United States, or away from my family for that matter. But I never really considered Thanksgiving that important to me. An American student at IESE had a Thanksgiving party at her house for all the first year Americans. I never really liked parties that brought together only a certain nationality (because I think we should be global and diverse, not nationalistic), but I decided to go anyway.

But when I came in the door and saw David, Josh, Jacob, Jake... I almost pounced on them all! I love my Americans! It was the most familiar thing, everyone talking with the same accent, the same mannerisms I grew up with, the same smells in the kitchen, I came to really appreciate my country and it's culture which I once believed was non-existant. I think what Josh said really hit home: "Close your eyes. You hear that? Nothing but Americans..." It was like a little home away from home.

I remember meeting all these people when I first came to IESE, and it was good to see how much everyone has matured... And although there is nothing I love more than being with people from all over the world, I did finally appreciate my country that day.

After dinner, me being trashed, we went to the BOW at Yabba Dabba. Almost the whole team A8 was there. It was nice to see them all. Spent some time talking to Florian. Although he is almost my exact opposite on the personality scale, I had a really pleasant time talking to him that night. And Josh. What a great guy. And, who could forget, Sebastian.

What Are You Sinking About?

Fabulous!

LDN

Having spent days and nights pouring over cover letters, bank websites and Vault Guides, I have finally turned in all my Banking applications. So I guess my fate is sealed. This summer I will most likely be living in London.

"LDN" by Lily Allen


When you look with your eyes, everything seems nice. But if you look twice, you can see it's all lies...

Te Mando Flores

This is a song I first discovered while in Bogota, Colombia. Don't think there was ever a song more special to me than this. When Alejandro and I went to the Latin Party at Cafe Noir tonight, dancing to Fonseca again (and seeing people sporting those distinctive Colombian woven hats) brought back that feeling of utter freedom.

First Impressions - Wrong Again

Elle Woods: I can't take it anymore! I'm going back to LA. No more boring suits, no more trying to be someone I'm not...
Emmitt: What if you are trying to be someone you are?

I was having another bad day, everything was going wrong as usual. Frankly my life had been so empty until Capital Markets came around. Today was an explanation of the IPO process: a day in the life of my old job... minus all the details like underwriting spreads, late night dinners with lawyers, and the fight for the Left Lead role.

My campaign speech for section A student Representative was nominated for the COW: "I didn't prepare a fancy speech and I won't deliver grandoise promises, but I can promise you this: I will do whatever you want..." Well I was completely aware of it's meaning, but I was trying to get at the point that an elected official is here to serve its constituants. And in Marketing today, we had the Propecia hair loss prevention marketing dilemma, and I tried to explain how a testimonial ad was not appropriate for this product because frankly, who cares if Dick Cheney for example suffers hair loss? It is too evident, & common. Testimonials work best on personal issues people are afraid to acknowledge, and a famous one is Bob Dole's ad on ED.... Whoops. Why did I mention ED? From one COW nomination to another, I bet.

I left class feeling down. I wondered about my purpose in life. Everything was going wrong for me as usual, as evident by my midterm grades for Decision Analysis. The worst grades I've ever received in my life. But I was numb. I couldn't do anything about it now; it was a sunk cost.

We had our Morgan Stanley group interviews today. I ended up being 15 minutes late because I was talking to Sebastian outside about Private Banking. He was wearing a pinstripe pantsuit with a red tie, and I was wearing a pinstripe pantsuit with a red scarf. Great minds think alike.

Anyways, so I was 15 minutes late for Morgan Stanley. This day just couldn't get any better. One of the worst things you can do in banking is arrive late. And 15 minutes late is the kiss of death. I figured I should prepare to get slaughtered, especially after the horrible first impression I had with the last Morgan Stanley sales & trader at the career fair. I was certain that guy would be there to rip my face off for being late...

But it turned out my first impression wasn't a bad one at all. They even stopped the presentation to introduce themselves to me. The 2 bankers were interviewing people by picking out resumes at random. When one of the bankers suddenly decided to pick one of the resumes of his choosing, I knew it would be me. It was a pressure tactic to see if my tardiness had flustered me.

Being experienced in Wall Street, it didn't. I did my pitch, and explained my story. They actually liked it. They said they could really believe my love for the capital markets, and my sincerity. And they especially liked how positively I talked about my experiences. Which was interesting, because I didn't feel positive at all. I felt tired, worn out and insecure. But when I spoke about the markets, my passion definitely showed, naturally, even when I was trying to subdue it in the face of professionalism.

And afterward, the banker actually came up to ME and gave me his business card. He said, "It is evident that you truly enjoy Finance because you had so many chances to get out... and you always came back." For once in my MBA career, I felt that something "fit just right." Despite first impressions, I look forward to applying to Morgan Stanley.

And outside, I was surprised to get so many compliments of my interview. As I walked to the bus, random students would come up to me saying I looked radiant somehow. But I was dead tired. I guess that when you really love something, it shows, and it can be beautiful.

I caught the bus to head to Zara to buy a new suit. Spent a couple hours trying them on, nothing seemed to fit right. Some were obnoxiously pinstriped, some were twead professor-looking, some were sexy fashionista... but I found myself gravitating towards dark, conservative cuts. The banker suits. When I saw the dark charcoal style with faint raised white pinstripes, I picked it up and bought it without trying it on. When I got home I found that it fit perfectly, no adjustments needed, and made me look, well, really really ridiculously good looking. I was made for banker suits. And when all is said and done, when you find the right one, whatever it is, everything just fits together perfectly...

Swift Kick in the Pants

Matilda: So when did you know you wanted to be a model?

Zoolander: Hmmm. I guess it would have to be the first time I went through the second grade, I caught my reflection in my spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking: "Wow! You're ridiculously good looking. Maybe you could do that for a career."

Matilda: Do what for a career?

Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.



Maybe all I needed was a swift kick in the pants...

Today was the christening of Jan Simon's Capital Markets class. I loved it. He had the strength and discipline of a trader. He reminded me of an old Tulane Professor of mine, an ex-Morgan Stanley trader, except she was 5 times more brutal. So Jan is nice...

Jan would tower over you and ask you point blank a question about current events, the reading, whatever. If you were not prepared you will not come to class. Reminded me of Professor McNew, only he didn't charge $5 if we were late. And to her on time was late. Arriving 15 minutes early... now that was "on time." Ahh traders. I felt so at home.

The thing I like about Wall Street jobs is that they expect you to handle alot of pressure. And when you overcome that pressure it is the best feeling. And most of the time, these guys on Wall Street seem like a-holes, but out of the office, they can be the sweetest people, often volunteering for charities and such... but always with a certain aura of evil...

I remember a point in class where he was talking about earnings estimates. My mind started to wander as I remember gathering this data on Bloomburg to prepare the sales point memos after we completed a deal. I guess he caught my eyes drifting left in inner monologue much like JD on SCRUBS. Well before I knew it he was standing over me and said, eyes directly on mine: "Ann. Where do we get consensus eps?"

"Analyst reports." Didn't miss a second. But my heart was pounding inside. I loved it.

He talked a bit more and called on a few more people but then he came back to me. "Ann." (gulp). "Who else got fired?" "You mean in Citigroup?" I said. I had no idea. "No, in Banking." "Well,that Merrill Lynch guy (obviously)... what was his name... Weinburg?" "No, Weinburg is Goldman Sachs." Someone else answered the question.

Then finishing the class, we got to talking about economic indicators and before I knew it my hand started going up. I have not looked at economic indicators in 3 years since I was a trader. And I really wasn't sure of my answer. I didn't know why but my hand went up! But before I knew it I was talking about CPI and core CPI. He asked follow up questions to my knowledge, and I didn't have time to think, I just said it. And the answers were right! This guy intimidates more than Mr. Marketing professor, but I loved the interaction between us. He really made me want to learn more about the markets. And for once I felt happy.

I guess I missed the premarket research we did before each trading day. Tracking the economic indicators... making a party on Fed Beige Book day... watching oil, gold & the NASDAQ while simultaneously looking at candlestick charts... the ISM... the craziness on Unemployment Friday! I knew I didn't want to go back into trading, but this was something I loved. Had to find something I can speak to with this....


... I'm sure there is more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking, and I intend to find out what that is ...

Even A Caveman Can Do It?

The Day I Sold My Soul (AKA Mock Interview Day)

So here the story of Ann's career struggle continues. These past weeks I have been struggling between Industry and Banking. On the Industry side, I could get a job in Pharma sales, move to the Finance side, and with my background as an Emergency Medical Technician, eventually become a Hospital Administrator...

But it all seems like a pipe dream to me. My Psychological profile says that I am comfortable in fields that are familiar to me, i.e. Banking. I certainly loved it before, maybe it's only a matter of relighting the flame? They say some people are just made for certain careers. What if my fate is Banking?

Today I had my resume critiqued by the banking Career Advisor at IESE. And she asked me, "Why do you want to go back into Banking?"

I said, "Well, because I tried to go to Industry events and they seemed wrong to me. I just fit in with all the Bankers."

She said, "Okay, just wondering, because I tried to leave Banking once, and that's also why I came back." Whew. And then she said something scary: "So you will pick Banking now, right? Nothing else?"

Right then I felt a lump in my throat. I imagined this is how men felt when they felt pressured into marriage. Going back into Banking would pretty much be a huge commitment. And I felt antsy, like my soul (much like a man's freedom) would disappear forever. Maybe it was just me afraid that if I commit to Banking, even though I don't see them right now, what if there are better options out there?

Well, I hesitantly said, "Yeees..." Then I straightened up. "Yes. Yes I will go back into Banking." The truth is, Finance still interested me, but where had all the passion gone?

Later that day, I had my mock interview to switch from Corporate Finance to Sales. I answered all the questions clearly and concisely and even bragged a little about my sales skills. Just when I thought I aced it, the interviewer came to me with a different story.

"You seem so depressed for some reason, like you don't want to answer the questions. You close off and don't show your passion." (That's because I don't have any passion!!) "You know, you have excellent and relevant experience, but it seems like you are only going to Sales because you don't want to work long hours and you want to have an easy life. You are very easy to listen to, but you don't have that punch. Like YES! I WANT TO DO SALES!"

"But I answered all the questions concisely." I said.

He answered, "Yes, but it felt like you were keeping me at arms length. A true salesperson would want to open up and get close to people."

It was funny. Anyone who knows me would say I LOVE getting close to people. I wasn't aware that I was so distant.

"Must be my Corporate Finance background," I rationalized.

But it must be something else. Sure, I was not really passionate about Banking, but was I passionate about anything at all? Even Medicine? I could be. I don't know. But Pharma seems so far away, and Banking seems so regimented, forcing me to commitment through each strategically planned step.

Sure, I can fake it. I can fake passion for Banking, and I can say Sales is the best thing ever. But at the end of the day, I still don't know what I want.

I have a lot of thinking to do.

My First Time.... Riding A Moto

So after the Accounting exam (which was a bit tricky I admit, some things seemed too easy, but we will wait and see...) Prasad took me to buy a moto. We decided on the Honda LEAD, 100cc, but they didn't have it in my signature color, Red, so we decided to wait until later. I was just going to buy one and ride it off into the sunset, but Prasad suggested I take some lessons first. So I went to Cooltra to have some lessons in Barceloneta.

I had this Italian teacher, Francesco, and we did the lesson in Spanish. He taught me a little about the moto, and told me to give it a try. So I gave it some gas, and it took off!!! It was swerving all over the place, I was screaming and before I knew it, I was on the floor & the moto was on top of me! (If any of you say "sounds like a typical date", you lose a body part... I am a good girl). Ouch. Very ouch.

So it seemed like I would be a challenge student, and I was a little scared to embark on the moto again. Francesco sat behind me and told me to place my hands on top of his to feel what he was doing to the moto. I did that for a few times, then he told me to try myself. He put his hands on top of mine to control me. I made him sit behind me for a while to make sure I got the balance. Then he got off and I practiced alone. We spent the entire afternoon with this moto until I depleted the gas tank. I need a lot more practice.

That night I didn't have time to siesta before partying because I was talking to Daamian, Prasad, Nico and Juan Pablo online all at the same time.

Felix and I got dressed for the M for Marc party. Felix was a Monkey. I was going to go as Marilyn Monroe, but I figured no one would get me if I didn't have a blonde wig. Why did I have to be a brunette, whyyyyy??? So I just pinned some Euro bills on a cute outfit and I was "sooo Money."

After the party David and I went to Opium. He was dressed very nicely and such a Southern gentleman last night. We also met Sebastian, who was wearing my favorite color, Red! We both were drinking vodka tonics, so cute. Pretty soon David and I were talking with Victor and his wife, who was American. It seemed like Americans and Spaniards ended up getting together quite often! Victor from Barca and his wife, David and his Spanish girlfriend Maria, and me...

Had some drinks with Martin downstairs until the club closed. A few IESE students were heading to Sutton, but I decided to go home, having had an average of 4 hours sleep per night studying for midterms. Got home at 6AM.

Respect Accounting

I remember the first time I fell in love with Business. They didn't let us enter the Business School at Tulane until after 2 years of Liberal Arts education, so the only Business class you were allowed to take in that period was Accounting. Call me cheesy, call me a geek, but I loved that class. I used to study Accounting long nights in the Business School breakout rooms, while dreaming of becoming an Investment Banker.

And what's more, Accounting saved my life. I remember Halloween Freshman year, I was drinking Hand Granades on Bourbon Street with my friends, but was feeling so down because I just had my heart broken for the very first time. I decided to leave early and go to the business school, which was deserted, to study Accounting. Strangly enough, Accounting was very theraputic for me. Everything balanced, everything had a place on the General Ledger and the T-Accounts. It was as if to say that even though my life was a mess, and I was unhappy, at least somewhere everything worked out. Everything belonged somewhere. Everything balanced.

My Accounting teacher used to say "Assets equal Liabilities plus Equity, always and forever." I loved that phrase. It gave me security to know that this simple but powerful equation, is stable and true, always and forever. And another thing: For every debit was an equal and corresponding credit. (Per transaction). It's as if to say, whatever you put in, you get out. Your efforts are always accounted for in some way. That's how I want my relationships to be.

Everyone, please respect the beauty of Accounting... And good luck on tomorrow's midterm!

In Other News, I Danced With This Amazing Austrian Guy Named Daniel... Oooh Daniel.

So I was challenged by an MBA companion of mine, Antonio Banderas (just joking), to grab the nearest book and flip it open to 161 and print the first full sentence here.

So now you all know a sentence in my diary.

But seriously. The next book closest to me happens to be my favorite: The European Dream by Jeremy Rifkin. It was actually the book that made me leave America for Europe. And page 161 happens to be the start of a new chapter: "Forging Capitalist Markets and Nation-States." Here goes.

"The market economy has become such a pervasive force in modern life that we have come to think of it as almost like a force of nature. We Americans would be utterly lost were the marketplace not the centerpiece of our existence. While markets existed far back into antiquity, they were always marginal to social life."

Yeah so 5 of youse guys out there are supposed to do this same exercise. Don't make me call the Italian side of my family to come break your legs if you don't...

Lost & Found: My Confidence

Lately I have been very quiet in class. Why don´t I speak up? I don´t get yelled at by the Marketing professor anymore. I guess I feel that my contributions would be insignificant and that people spend a lot of money to be here, and they don´t need my blabber. But today I got report that I should speak up more in class.

I have opinions, but I feel they are too intuitive to be of interest in a number intensive class. I have great ideas that are always first expressed by other people because I am too hestitant.

Today in Managing People, my favorite class, I left a little down. I was discussing with Marco how I would handle the situation, but I was too scared to raise my hand. I delved deep into the minds of both people, but somehow felt unpropelled to say a thing. I need to find out where my confidence has gone....

MBA in a Nutshell

It's Midterm season!!! Guys, Relax! When the cases seem to be endless, the Investment Banking receptions soulless, the Consulting interviews straining, let's put this whole MBA thing into perspective... don't take it too seriously! Because this is how Business School really is:



Can you believe I actually used to salsa dance with that guy in the purple??

Disclaimer:
Now I am not suggesting you neglect your studies, all I'm saying is that an MBA, or your job, or work is not the end all be all of your existance. (That is why I left America.) There are more meaningful things in life that you should take advantage of. So stop working on cases until 2AM, snap out of that bad mood, stop neglecting your wife or girlfriend & live a little!!! An MBA, as well as life, is supposed to be as fun as it is enriching!!

Mas Salsa!

This morning I skipped the team meeting to get my NIE. Now I can legally be in Spain! And Alvaro can officially be my friend now.

Class was inconsequential. In Spanish today, we had to do an impromptu presentation to advertise for a product. We were lazy, so we decided on something easy like chocolate. Justin stepped up to the class, very nonchalantly:

"Voy a hablar de nuestro producto nuevo. Es un producto muy bueno: Chocolate. Porque chocolate? Por que no?"

The class erupted in laughter. The teacher slapped her hand to her face. I continued: "Porque nuestro chocolate es mas suave, mas dulce y mucho mas rico que todo en el mundo. Tu lo sabes!" (We were really lazy today. Used about 3rd grade Spanish).

Read some cases in the cafe until it was time to head to salsa class. Took the metro. Listened to... "I Touch Myself" on the IPOD. Arrived 15 minutes late. Oh yes, Latin time. The class was beginning so Alejandro and I mostly did some patterns.

Short pattern I used to do in Houston. Much easier than it looks. Just take your time.


Went home, tried to do cases but ended up talking on Skype with whole group. Chatted with Marco about his upcoming performances with the Houston Salsa Dancers on MSN. Was jealous I can't be there. Have to get some good salsa patterns started. Generalmente era una buena noche.

ABP Terminated

Due to a personal issue, I could not work on the ABP case until around 5PM Sunday night. People have been working on it all weekend, but I thought I'd give it maybe 5 hours or so. I ended up working on it 13 hours straight, just cranking on excel until 6 in the morning. And I still thought there was a lot to do, but I didn't have any more room, so I stopped it there. It was a great report: It looked fantastic, and it had some eloquent writing and excellent calculations. Most of all, it looked pretty strong.

I never really grasped that break even and margin business they all seem to love, so I went about what I do best: capital structure and leverage analysis. I analysed their capital structure pro forma the merger and projected the cash flows out to 2010, discounting back to time zero and adding in a terminal value. Then I made the charts gorgeous. It was worth the 2 hours of sleep.

I floated into the group meeting late this morning with my regular double fisted coffees. Alvaro said, "You are so calm today. Go print out your case. Everyone's rushing to print." I did feel out of place today. Like completely devoid of passion. Calm. Almost dead.

I kept a low profile in decision analysis and marketing because I had not read the cases. In between classes I went to get Alvaro a couissant. I knew he wanted one. He always gets one inbetween 1st and 2nd classes. And before our Organizational Behavior test I printed out the powerpoint file I had made on Trust in Boss-Subordinate Relationships. Marco seemed interested, so I just gave my copy to him. I feel better when I give people things for some reason. It just makes me happy.

I cranked out the OB exam almost flawlessly and was one of the first ones done. Talked to Damiaan in the work rooms before Spanish, then took the Spanish test. I had not studied, but I ended up cranking it out pretty quickly. I think the Spanish teacher was annoyed that I had took so little time to finish it, but I knew I did great.

Went to pick up a package from the post office and listened to the Beatles on my IPOD. It's amazing the people you see in metros. There is an old couple, carressing each other gently. There is a girl, standing alone, almost crying. There is a impeccably dressed man in a suit. There are teenage boys with mullet haircuts singing Melendi. And then there is me, with my IESE MBA bag and crisp copy of the Financial Times in the cradle of my arm.

And then tomorrow, there is my first salsa meeting at Mojito Club. I cannot wait to put on my dance shoes again.

Favorite Media

Favorite Music:

"Que Precio Tiene El Cielo" by Marc Anthony. This is a salsa song Marco introduced to me in Houston which is very special to me. Very romantic. We used to dance this song in SkyBar.


Favorite Video:

This is my favorite salsa pattern because the girl gets all the attention and the guy is just doing basic moves. At the end we have the "Diamond step" a type of salsa shine.


Favorite Photo:

This is a photo Carmen sent around IESE Listserv after the Bar Crawl which I think highlights the spirit and unity of our group, A8.


Not so Favorite Moment:
And now, despite a bit of a hangover, I have no excuses not to work on the ABP case....

Everytime

The career fair was quite stressful for bankers and consultants, so we all needed sleep. I chose to relax by inviting a friend over to my flat to cook him dinner. He came with a bottle of wine and we had a great time.

There's a famous episode of Sex & the City which compares available taxis to available men, and how one can wait and wait for a taxi, and another girl can just walk up to one with the green light, and then the taxi is occupied....

Today I never waited so long for a taxi.

I finally found one and rode to meet Alejandro at the Mojito Club. There we danced so much salsa I almost forgot everything that was making me unhappy.

"Did you do the ABP case?" he asked.

"I don't give a &%&@#!" I said.

Our first dance was Micaela by Sonora Carruseles. And the reggaeton that was playing all night reminded us of New Orleans.I was finally at home.

Today I realized something tonight while I was dancing. Cases don't really matter. It's relationships that matter. We are here on this earth to form relationships with each other. All these cases are just practice. And everyone's so worried about this....

Medio Ann

I am a person split down the middle.

I want Industry, I want Banking. I want Sales & Trading, I want Wealth Management. I want Fixed Income, I want Equity. I am Socialist, I am Capitalist. I am dancing on the table, I am shy. I want to stay in Spain, I want to go back to Houston.

People say I cancel myself out.

Why did I bring this up? I was watching a video of my old salsa class, with my old salsa teachers and I missed Houston.

Advanced salsa at Melody Club:


I missed all the places I used to go and everyone would know my name, ask me to dance, and we'd dance the night away. I miss bullshitting and practicing, and Tuesday nights at Tropicana, Wednesday nights at Elvia's, Thursday nights at SkyBar, Fridays at Plaza 59, Saturdays at Taco Milagro, and Sunday Socials @ Sonias...

I miss salsa.

50 First Dates

Meeting the scores of Investment Bankers these last few days at the Career Forum is like going on many first dates. What an excruciating process. They take you out to lunch, dinners, cocktails, even breakfast (!) and you talk about yourselves... awkwardly. Then you exchange business cards. Well, people don´t usually do this on a first date (except me, when I was a "SuperCapitalist").

I just met the most horrible banker. He was rude, arrogant and unfriendly. In fact, most of the bankers in this bank were quite arrogant. The fact that one of them said their main goal was to make a lot of money was already a red flag. Since I was waiting around for 15 minutes awkwardly to talk to this guy (he completely ignored me), I stood around to ask a few intelligent questions. But he wasn´t even interested in me. All he wanted to do was talk about himself and all the money he made. And the accomplishments he did. It was exactly like going on a horrible first date that I couldn´t wait to get home from. His rudeness was the cut-off point. Needless to say this bank will not get an application from me. I politely excused myself and left.

"Keep in touch!" he said in the most sarcastic voice imaginable.

"Will do!" I said, walking off without his business card.

I went off flustered and needed to talk to someone. Instead I closed myself off and headed to the computer labs to make a spreadsheet for a case...

Things Never to Say to Investment Bankers

So... BY THE WAY... here are some things you should never say to Investment Bankers....

“So, what’s it like working for Merrill?”
(The guy works for Bank of America)

Tapa in hand, you turn to a close friend and say “Bet you don’t think I can fit this whole thing into my mouth!” …. and he is talking to a banker.

During a dinner with bankers, while feasting on boiled crustaceans, you recount your experiences with southern Crawfish boils by saying, “In New Orleans, we eat these all the time. Just pinch the tails & suck the heads!” (You Nawlins boys, you KNOW what I’m talking about!)

Now it's not to say that I did any of these things, but yesterday at the Career Forum (DAY 1)was not a good day for me & Banking. I couldn't sleep all night. Had a cold. Woke up at 6AM, threw on a suit, went to the Citi breakfast. When I found out they weren't hiring for Capital Markets, I was a little disappointed. Had to cross them off my list. Went to their presentation anyway. Didn't get a business card holder. :-(

By the Lehman presentation, my cold medication started seriously kicking in, and I felt like floating. I didn't know what to ask the bankers, so I rightfully kept my mouth shut. Was the same through the Merrill presentation. I'm sure the Bankers thought I had no drive. And was on drugs.... (my sleepy-stoned expression must have gave it away).

So I went to Amgen to see if I could try my luck at Pharma. Ended up passing notes all session with Daamian. Went up to talk to the Pharma guys. They seemed so uninterested in me. Felt a little sad. And still drugged.

At the career forum panel, I tried to talk to some Bankers. The whole thing went over horribly! I was so used to being over on the other side with students coming to talk to ME, that I had forgotten how horrible the process could be. I just couldn't seem to make a good impression. And I felt feverish.

All in all I was feeling pretty down and out. I thought maybe banking wasn't for me.... maybe the month I was away from it I had become slovenly unkept... and average. Maybe I'd never be a banker again. I didn't know what to do with my life.

Then suddenly, it was time for cocktails at Lehman. We had tapas and drinks. And I had a fantastic conversation with a Director of Equity Derivatives. Lehman was it, I thought. I loved the culture. Fantastic bank.

Before I had a chance to catch my breath was the Merrill dinner at Botafumerio, apparently one of the best restaurants in Barcelona. (Apparently, because that is where the Morgan Stanley dinner will also be). We had a great time, lots of seafood, and lots of champagne and white wine. The Merrill banker from Global Markets was really nice. I look forward to applying. I believe I got my confidence in Banking back. Hurray.

So I head to bed around 130AM, only to get up the next day at 6AM (DAY 2) for the Lehman informational, which was actually a mini interview. I think I did alright, but not impressive. Lehman was still my first choice.

After Lehman was the JPMorgan presentation, which was pleasant. I have always, always liked and admired JPMorgan but somehow I didn't quite fit into the culture. Today was no exception. Everyone was so nice, but it seemed I was a little too excentric. Well, to me at least. JPMorgan is still at the top of my list. (Behind Lehman).

I was pretty stressed from Banking presentations and starving from not having breakfast when the American Express guys came in. Each one seemed so Disney special happy. They all loved their jobs. They were so... nice. And carefree. And shiny. They showed us witty advertisements the whole time. And they said "why spend your life in banking when you could come work for us. You will actually have time for a life. We care about all of you. We hold your hand. You have alot of vacation..." And I thought, "Wow. These people are scaring me. They are waving a form of Never-Neverland in front of me and I'm scared. No more struggling in Banking not knowing what's going on; they'll hold my hand. No more long nights at the office; they don't work late. No more fancy suits and starched shirts; you can relax now. Wow. This was not for me."

Maybe I was too scared to face the fact that I could actually have a good life, that I don't always have to strive to be the best or have the most prestigious job. Just what does Ann want? Well I don't know. Why was I so disillusioned that I honestly thought I didn't deserve to have a good life, and that I must always stay in Banking and whither away under Type A stress all night in a hallogen-light cubicle. Maybe Banking wasn't for me....

Until I met Barclays.... and they had me at hello.... or rather "And here are some numbers showing how good we are, and here are some other numbers, and... Now, do you have any questions for us?" It was so refreshingly honest. They had the reputation of being the fun bank, with nice people. I wouldn't have guessed it by how seemingly intimidating the speaker was, but he was actually really nice. When a collegue of mine had to sit down because her shoes hurt so bad, he went to bring her a chair. What a gentleman. I was so impressed. And he was Head of Global Markets. He told me he was the biggest nerd when he was younger. He also said he never turned down an offer to go for a beer. I felt in love. I loved Barclays. I hung out at the Barclays cube all day during the career forum, just chatting with all the bankers. It didn't matter if they didn't work in my prospective department. I just felt at home. And this was a good sign.

One notable mention today at the Career Forum was Pharmaceutical Company Novartis. Shared jellybeans from the Bear Sterns presentation with Miguel during the presentation. It was nice. Anyways Novartis had a strong presence in Spain and a great Pharma rotational program with only 6 months in sales, then the other year and a half in Finance & Marketing. It felt perfect for me. But again, the reps didn't seem to be too interested in me. Perhaps I didn't know how to talk to people in Industry, and perhaps I came off as too aggressive. I'll send my CV anyway.

*****

What was interesting to me was that today, after lunch I sat out on the patio and watched some company representatives talk outside. What I noticed was subtly striking. There was one guy in Industry talking with a banker from Deutsche Bank. The Industry guy wore a lavender shirt, fun patterned tie, and wore sunglasses on his head. He had a broad smile and seemed to be so relaxed. And the banker, she wore a black skirt suit and crisp white button down shirt and her hair tied neatly in a low ponytail. She looked so professional but a bit cold. I looked at the two and I saw who I was (the banker) and who I was afraid to be (Industry). And I couldn't help but wonder, if I leave Banking, will I leave my entire identity as well?

Mojitos

This Saturday I met Alejandro at Mojito club, a salsa club in Eixample. And I realized that the one thing I missed in the States that Spain did not provide was salsa and Latin clubs. Latin music hits me in a certain way that nothing, not even hip hop can reciprocate. I love the rhythm of salsa, of cumbia, of vallenato, of samba, of merengue, and even of bachata.

I cannot wait for salsa club meetings at Mojito to start. My goal is to get inside the Barcelona salsa scene to scope out new ideas for the salsa club next year. I would be so happy to improve it, for my true passion lies in salsa. Maybe someday, if Heaven smiles upon me, I could even open a salsa dance studio right here in Southern Europe where I could be teacher, dancer and administrator all in one... now that would truly be Heaven.

Dare to dream.

Bar Crawl

Apparently drinking traditions transcend international borders. Wachovia has this IBD Analyst tradition of Bar Golf, where we all dress up in the silliest golf clothes and go to 18 bars taking "shots" at each par. The one farthest away from par-18 is the winner. Man, I can hardly remember what went on that night... I do remember someone getting into a cop car thinking it was a cab....

So IESE has an annual tradition of Bar Crawl, a team excursion where each section (A, B y C) is given a costume theme, and the teams within each section go through certain drunken tests to compete amongst themselves. Here are the themes, some photos I have lifted from a classmate’s album because 1) Drinking and shooting pictures requires some focus 2) investment bankers go by the saying "don't reinvent the wheel", and 3) I was too busy dancing the night away to whip out the camera…

Section A (my section) were sadistic cops.


Section B were naughty school girls and boys.


Section C (the Spanish section) were crazy doctors.


The first competition involved blowing up a balloon and popping it on another teammate’s lap. Well I wasn’t paying attention during the directions, and before I knew what was going on, I was pushed to the front of the line, given a balloon and told to blow.

“But I don’t know how to blow this!” I said; I had never successfully blew up a balloon before.

So I just went for it, and before I knew it, the balloon was getting bigger! Woo go me! And then afterwards, everyone was yelling at me to sit on this guy. I was so confused, so Felipe just popped it & I didn’t have to sit on him! Who the heck makes up these games?

The next bar, Pepsi Club, involved a competition of sexy dancing. We made up this corny boy band style routine and worked it on the stage-floor. I think I had a little too much fun with my baton…

And the third bar, we had a silly little obstacle course. We easily beat the other team on that one. Then all of a sudden, they started playing great music, and me and Sudar started dancing. Before we knew it, everyone was clearing the floor so that we could have a little dance off. He was pulling out some Indian style dancing and hip hop and I answered with hip hop and salsa. Was maybe my favorite part of the night. But me, I’m a partner-style dancer, I’m not so accustomed dancing alone, but I can pull it off. I love hi-jacking my partner’s moves though so that I can become the center of attention! Alejandro and I started dancing some salsa before going to the last club.

At the last club had a great few dances with Daniel from UK. I was shocked how good he danced! But this guy knew how to have fun. Danced some Brazilian dances with Felipe as well, which was really special. I quite enjoyed it. Dancing with my classmates is the best thing I can do. You can really feel the connection and respect we have through dance, without even saying a word.

But enough dancing talk. Let’s get to fashion. Dress was interesting that night, and I certainly did not capture the widest range of costumes, but here are a few of honorable mention:

The serious (Nuno with my teammate Hao)


The lovely (Can you guess which one is El Delegado de mi grupo espannol?)


Apparently how the cops dress in Italy, as evidenced by Marco


Drinking on the job I see…. So that’s how they do it in Brazil...


And these are the winners of Section B. Wonderful expressions….


So here is my beloved group, A8, to close out the entry.

Trends in Investment Banking

And now we are back to Ann’s career choice struggle: Investment Banking or Industry? Today Lehman Brothers held a seminar on “Trends in Investment Banking.” I wasn’t planning to attend, but somehow it drew me in. And strangely, I felt once again that I belonged there, and sure enough, Lehman felt like it was “My Company,“ the one I’m meant to work for. No matter how much I try to avoid Banking and Finance, somehow it pulls me in. My Organizational Behavior professor says that there must be some reason for the choices that we make… and that often it is wise to follow the path that you have set. As much as I try to fight it, as much as I don’t fit the typical profile, I guess I’m really meant to be a Banker.

The presenter from Lehman actually knew who I was. Probably because he reviewed my resume and cover letter just the day before. I’ve got a breakfast with Citi booked next Monday, then cocktails with Lehman, then a dinner with Merrill Lynch, then breakfast with Lehman again. It was like fate was saying “Welcome home.” It was back to the same old schedule and I loved it.

So the trends in investment banking por mi parte siempre esta cambiando. Entering IESE I vowed to go into ANYTHING but investment banking or finance. Two months later my plan is to go into to Sales and Trading, but try to stay in Southern Europe. I really want to work in Madrid. Little by little I am weaning myself off the United States, to create a new life in Europe. We shall see what happens...

El Fin De Semana De La Hispanidad

Last Thursday most of IESE left to go on the London Banking Tour, to meet with contacts from various Investment Banks. I had a friend from New Orleans come in on his way back from Norway, so I stayed in Barcelona. I got a ride with Lluis to IESE, a Catalan neighbor of mine. But he’s not rabid Catalan, he still appreciates his Spanish roots. I like that. When we were heading to his car I had the privilege of meeting his dad, who lived in the same building. “Encantada” I said. It was so sweet. Both guys are terribly nice, terribly nice guys.

Between classes, I was walking up the stairs and I ran into my Marketing professor, the one I despised because he always yelled that I was wrong whenever I spoke up in class. Well, he had been calm with me lately. And when he passed me on the stairs, he looked me in the eyes and said, “Hello, Ann.” I couldn’t believe it! He knew my name! Which meant he noticed me in class, out of all the people, he took the time to give me some consideration, which is all I really want. (I’m just a simple girl at heart). All my apparent hatred for him seemed to melt away at the moment. And in class that day, he actually called on me twice and wrote what I said on the board.

It was a really good day.

Attendance at Spanish class that day was almost abysmal. It was just me and 2 other students, and we were discussing in Spanish the Banking industry. I was with 2 others who wanted to go into Industry and this implied that they thought all Bankers cared about was money. That was true, but I felt I had to defend my industry just a little. Before we knew it, we all were in a passionate debate, not paying attention much to how horrible our Spanish was sounding.

Little did we know our Spanish teacher was quietly recording what we said aloud and then after the conversation displayed the broken fragments of our discussion on the projector, in order to correct them later. Whether you are familiar with Spanish or not, the results are quite hilarious:

“Quien dice eso? Mi.”

“…like…uh….”

“Okey.. I mean ‘vale.’”

"Tu no necessitas estar en banca."

“Soy una persona muy debil.”

“Banking es un droga.”

“Solo necesito dame un CV y en un anno tiene un trabajo.”

You can just guess which were my statements: something about banking being a drug???

That following night was equally strange. Nathan and I go out for some tapas, and before long we were drinking, drinking, drinking. So we are wandering down Barceloneta around 2AM when we discover a boat tied to a dock. It was then that we had the brilliant idea that it would be advantageous to us to jump off the dock and swing by the rope, as shown below:



Nate jumped and made it. I wasn’t so lucky. I jumped, completely missed, then fell completely into the water. I was drenched from head to toe. Naturally, we decided to go to some more bars afterwards. Naturalmente.

Friday was La Hispanidad in Spain, a celebration of all those who spoke the Spanish language. Que magnifico. We must have toured all the sights in Barcelona and ate every kind of tapa there was. We visited bars….

Comimos tapas….


Vistitamos Casa Batllo....


Vimos monumentos….


Fuimos a la playa…. Habia barcas de vela.


El mercado en las afueras de la Rambla


A half Thai half Italian American girl drinking German beer in an Irish Pub in Spain...


Had those little fried fish (pescaditos fritos) and some paella and sangria on the beach. It seems like those little fishies on my fork are saying "Noooo... waiiittt...Don't eat me! I'm just a babyyyyy..."



And then I realized something that week…. I love Spain. It feels like home. I love the cobblestone streets, the good food, the wine, motos, scarves, the lifestyle, the holidays, how wonderfully nice the men are… I had envisioned going back to the US, but now I can’t imagine paying for things in anything but Euros. I think I just might stay in Southern Europe.

Wall Street Women

I have a love-hate relationship with Finance. Some days I hate it, despise it, even say that I loathe it with the fire of a thousand suns...

But today I felt in love.

Today I had the priviledge of attending a panel discussion entitled "Women in Investment Banking" as a way of networking with other women in IBD (almost sounds like a disease, doesn't it?) and capital markets. Lehman Brothers presented. I really liked it. But the strange part was that I felt that I belonged there already. It was an interesting feeling. I waltzed in with a nice suit, asked prominent questions, displayed my knowledge of the industry, whipped out business cards and left.

But lately I've been struggling since leaving Banking with the question: WHO AM I? Am I a financier? Am I a sales person? Am I an entreprenuer? Or am I a politician? Or... as my flatmate Felix suggested, Am I a diplomat? I believe that I'm all those things, and all those things are personified in Wall Street Women.

Today I realized that I was drawn to Finance again. I really liked Equity Sales! I felt passionate again, and sure of myself. But was it because it was something familiar, or was it because we were meant to be? Am I too afraid to take a chance somewhere else, or is it just because my instincts are guiding me? The banking train was moving fast and if I blinked I would miss it. I had to get on.

But did I want to go back to the US? Did I have ties there? I feel somewhat wary leaving so much of my life up to fate. Banking interviews are coming soon, and real-time offers will be made by the end of next year. I still don't know whether I want to work in Spain, London, US or Netherlands.

When I walked home this song from No Doubt came on my IPOD... and I felt like it described perfectly my relationship with Finance:

"RUNNING" NO DOUBT

Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated....

Random Skype Night With Some Spanish Guy

So I'm sitting in my flat Friday night, having just cooked a nice Colombian dinner, arroz con camarones y maduros. I'm supposed to be studying accounting, but instead I am reading Antonio's blog.

All of a sudden someone adds me on Skype. His name is Rafa. Okay, probably some IESE student, I think. And then he sends me a message in Spanish. I couldn't read it, so I ignore it. And then he calls me. He only speaks Spanish!! We have a video conference. We talk about jobs, where we've been, a lot of things. I was so embarrassed I couldn't speak Spanish well. Omigosh, I was horrible. I find out he is 40 years old. I guessed his age exactly. Actually, 40 years old is just the perfect age for me. ;-)

Well it turns out he asked me out. He gave me his number and his email and asked me out for a coffee. He told me to call him whenever I am ready, and we will speak totally in Spanish. WOW! A random Spanish guy finds me and asks me out! He is very handsome yes, as I see from our video chat, but I also saw he had a wedding ring on. I asked if he was married and he said he was divorced hace un año. He sends me a picture. At least I'll have some evidence for the police if he abducts me, eh? I didn't tell him anything about me at all & I probably won't call him.

But how weird! ... what a soap opera that is going on in Barca... Better get back to studying Accounting...

Group A8 Dinner and BOW

Yesterday I took Alvaro's moto virginity. He said he never had a moto while living in Madrid and then he got one here, so, naturally, I was the first girl he had on it. He picked me up at IESE and we rode to our second year team facilitator Martin's house for tapas. He was Argentinean. He had tango playing when we arrived and even had empanadas. They were great.

So funny thing. We all had to bring some food to the party. I brought grapes. Typical American thing, right? Fast, easy, healthy, a safe choice. Everybody likes grapes. Oh and we did a case that day involving Reisling wine, so I decided to bring some of that. Alvaro was laughing at me and the grapes, and I wondered why. It wasn't until I arrived that Martin told me I might as well be seducing everyone here. Apparently it's some Spanish or Latin custom that when you bring grapes and especially wine it is seduction food and you should plan to spend the night... WHAAAAT? I mean QUE?

Had a great time talking with Felipe about Brazilian carnival and how there is all this random kissing going on. Like you turn around and kiss a Brazilian guy, and then another, and another until 50 guys later.... and I said "Ahh yes. Reminds me of Freshman year." Ha. Ha. Ha. No te preocupes, es una broma.

Felipe was so sweet, he kept getting me drinks. I didn't have to do anything, just sit there. I love that guy. And I love how Alvaro takes me around on his moto, like he is happy to do it. I got a little drunk last night and managed to say that he was manly and has big muscles. Oy....

So after some more drinking, we head to the BOW. It was at Bocayma. Had some more drinks and a great conversation with David about Southern dancing, yellow pants, and the differences between European and American dating. How in America, it takes forever for a man to declare exclusivity and how it is so much easier in Europe.

Went home around 230h on Alvaro's moto. It was the nicest ride. I didn't even have to hold on. But I did go "WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" alot in the streets...

Random Thoughts

So I was thinking as I was on Avenida Diagonal around 21:00h looking up at the empty La Caixa building.... "Why aren't there ANY PEOPLE in a Spanish investment bank at 9PM???" Wow. This just may be Heaven.

And I was thinking the other day as Felipe sent out to the group some excel files for the Marketing case, and then both our Accounting cases, hell ALL the cases.... "Man, people who speak Portuguese are amazing." They are some of the most intelligent people I've ever met. And handsome. Some of them are even super intelligent AND super handsome. Wow. Mindboggling.

And now some random quotes.

"Have you ever sneezed in your helmet?"
-Stefan

"Beer is good for the brain. It helps to make it grow healthy and strong."
-Antonio


Decision Analysis Professor:
"And so with this option, there is a 70% chance the director will finish the movie on time and you gain a profit of $100MM. If the director is late, you will have an expected profit of $30MM. And if you hire the mafia to make sure the director makes it on time, at these prices, you will have an expected profit of...."


Scene: Spanish class. We are supposed to provide 2 true comments and 1 false, and try to distinguish which is the latter.

David Binns:
"1) Hace 11 años, salto del avion. (11 yrs ago, I jumped from a plane)
2) Hace 4 años, era un piloto. (4 years ago, I was a pilot)
3) El año pasado, la policía me arresté... Cual es falso?" (Last year I was arrested by the police)

[silence]

Yang: Wait a minute..... You were a cop???


So. We're all from Barcelona.

How Sarcastic Can I Get?

So I was reading Antonio's blog (now that it's no longer in Portuguese) and I have decided to log my time in Barcelona for this entry as he writes... how sarcastic can I get? (No really, it is a very good blog, this is simply an act of admiration and not sarcasm) So here is a day in the life of Anna en Espana...

Hehehe here goes.

I awoke at 7:20h to the sound of my radio despertador. There is some lady talking very fast in Spanish, and I decide it is too early to be thinking. Last night I stayed up until 2:30h doing case studies. As I did the last 2 nights in a row. In the kitchen I run into my flatmate Guillermo. He is making coffee.

"Woah there. You are moving way too fast. It is too early to be moving around so fast," I say. He starts cracking up. I try to speak to him in Spanish but it comes out all slurry.

15 minutes later I hop on his moto and we drive to school. He always says we look like a couple because we bought the same helmet. I didn't have a choice.. they didn't have it in red.

We get to IESE and depart for our respective groups. I am in group A8; he is in the Spanish group C8. Today I am the case leader for the Marketing case. I've prepared a little outline which I distributed around 1:30h last night. "I'm ready for the class!" I think. WRONG!

The teacher is insane. He has no logical path or structure to the class. He moves from one topic to another and you have to have the quick reaction time of a floor trader. Participation credit is 60% so I must try to dominate the class! Just kidding. But the hazard in this is that he often quickly dismisses your comment if it is not what he wants to hear, rejecting it with a big loud "NO!" So I end up raising my hand all day and he never calls on me. I whisper to Marco that he hates me because he never calls on me. How could he not notice me, I am front and center in a bright shirt, and I have my hand raised very high, and I'm hot. Marco raises his hand and in an instant he is called on. The teacher acknowledges his comment positively.

So I'm still raising my hand. Even though the topic moves around all over the place I still have something to say. But he never calls on me. So I start loudly snapping my fingers. And I'm slouching a little bit, bored of pretending to care. Finally he asks a question and looks at me for a split second and I think, this is my chance! I have to speak up because he never notices me! So the second he looks at me, and begins to point at me to begin, I start talking loudly. And then he points at me and screams "NO!" before I could even speak!

Turns out he didn't like that I spoke out of turn. But I noticed that when other people did that he let them speak. I say "DAMN!" really loud and out of reflex. Everyone is laughing because they know how long I've had my hand up, especially Marco.

God. I was so glad when that class was over. The next class was Analysis of Business Decisions hosted by our section leader, a strict German. He expects you to be prompt, no drinking or eating in class, no laptops, nobody leaves class. The first day I met him, like many others, I thought he was a monster. Now I was so glad to see him. I was glad to see him because although he may seem tough, he is very fair and just. He actually listens and considers what I say. He actually calls on me. Because of that I want to do well and be prepared for him. He noticed I wasn't speaking much in class today when I normally do (that Marketing guy just took the wind out of me!) and he called on me for my opinion! He actually seemed to care, and he noticed that I was quiet today, so he called on me. I know others may think he called on me to see if I actually did the case, but I didn't feel that way. I felt... valued and respected. I almost wrote an email to him after class saying that I really appreciated his equitable teaching style. But I didn't.

Today after lunch we had a Spanish test. I bombed that. Didn't have time to study. I hope they don't hold me back a level. Although I wish they did because I feel I could learn a lot by retaking that class again, I simply did not have time with all the case work we have to do to stay an extra 2 hours at school. I cannot wait until I get my own moto, and I won't have to depend on other people to ride with...

So I came home, tried to take a nap, but I kept getting these phone calls! Hehehe. No I liked it. I couldn't sleep anyway. Had too much Accounting....

Firsts

Well I just found out from BOTH of my flatmates that I was their first passenger on their motos... which is to say I took their moto virginity... which probably explains why my Purity Test score is so low...

Risk Taking

I came to Barcelona and IESE with plans to start my own business. Then as I struggled in a new culture and country, I thought I wanted to go into Industry and take a break from Banking. Then, after the banking sessions started, I felt a strange pull to what was comfortable.

The fact of the matter is, I like being in a bank. It feels like home. It is what I´ve wanted to do for so long. I actually get excited about discounted cash flows. But really what is it that I want to DO with my life??? You know careers and dating are alot alike. If you were dating someone for so long, you might be scared to leave him for someone else because you are scared of taking risks. BUT on the other hand it might be that you are with the person you are meant to be with all along.... As the saying goes "If it ain´t broke, don´t fix it."

But on the other hand they say that what you really want to do can stem from what you wanted to do when you were 5 years old. When I was 5 I wanted to be an Emergency Room doctor. Hmm.... this Healthcare industry might have something there.

So I was dabbling with the prospect of going into the Healthcare/Pharmaceutical industry. I want to have a set schedule. I want to have a social life. I want to get out of the spreadsheets and into lunching with clients. And if I go into Pharma, most likely I will be lunching with doctors ;-) Just joking. But the thing with Pharma is that I´d be taking a big risk. Most of the banks hire from summer internships. I will be interning with a Pharmaceutical company. The things I worry about are these: 1) Will the job be boring, AKA too slow for me? It is said that everyone who gets out of banking get so bored easily with the pace of regular industry 2) Is it really my dream job? What IS my dream job? 3) What the %$/&% would I do??? I don´t want to sell medical supplies. Is there anything else out there?

I think another indication of what you are supposed to be comes from what others think of you. For instance I constantly have people asking me how to manage their finances, or their children´s finances, or you get the point. And I say to them "I´m an Investment Banker. I raise money for corporations. I put stocks and bonds in the market. But wait.... if you put 25% in this large cap index and 40% in the Russell 2000, mitigating this risk with some treasuries and money market funds..." yeah you get the idea.

So after some freaking out, I came up with this conclusion: I believe that ultimately, I am a banker through and through. I look impeccable in a suit. I like meeting clients. I am an advisor. I know the financial markets, so that you don´t have to. I will manage your money, and look damn good doing it. So this summer, I will "break up from my boyfriend Investment Banking" per se and fool around with the Pharmaceutical Industry. If I like it and feel it is for me, I will look for a full time job in that Industry. Most likely will be in Houston, Barcelona or Switzerland (lots of hospitals). If I don´t like it, I will fall back on my extensive finance experience and work for a bank somewhere. Most likely in Asset Management or Equity Research and most likely in Spain or the US. Because I speak English & Castillian and I don´t want to live in the UK. And the thing about Finance is that math is the same in all languages!

Opus Dei

There is a lot of mystery surrounding Opus Dei. Luckily for me I have not read the Da Vinci code, and I don´t have an opinion one way or another surrounding the topic. What I do know is that I feel glad that our school is an initiative of Opus Dei. In fact, the Universidad de Navarra was created by the originator of Opus Dei himself which I find is quite amazing. As a Catholic, I find some comfort in this, but it is also a bit to get used to.

Coming from America, we have an obsessive compulsion of dividing church and state. (And school..) It is definitely different to see crucifixes in every classroom, even though I always have one above my bed. And I find that the classes here are a lot stricter than in the US (well, I DID come from New Orleans), and are from what I´ve seen, similar to those "Catholic school" stereotypes.... barring that infamous Britney Spears video....

I went to mass yesterday, and I felt inspired. All in all I find our school incorporates a deeper meaning in developing business leaders, and I feel that involving this religious aspect helps in having students recognize the importance of developing society and being less selfishly profitminded, at least, as a trickle down method from the professors. The goal of any business leader should be to improve society first and foremost. Although I don´t consider myself especially religious, this I do agree on.

To be in Investment Banking, or not to be in Investment Banking? That is the Question.

There was a voluntary Investment Banking seminar in the auditorium. When I came in, I sat down in the front row, and I was looking straight at one of the speakers in the panel. I knew that look. Only investment bankers have that demeanor: extremely elegant with a touch of arrogance… a tired look from working all night…. but if you look into his eyes, it’s like staring into the eyes of a shark.

I was used to this look; I worked with it for the last 2 years. It was funny, but when I came into the seminar, and sat across from this guy, I felt strangely comfortable, but at the same time I felt this incredible hatred for this profession, because it stole 2 years of my life, and my soul.

I felt like the main character in Monkey Business: a guy who returned to banking after his MBA because he was mindlessly trapped in the recruiting process of Banking. You see, Bankers trap you early: right when you arrive, so that you have no other options. They say that a high percentage of Bankers who say they will never come back ultimately do. I felt that I could be one of those people. I felt weak.

The character in Monkey Business, his name was Troob. He wrote that Investment Bankers love to trap fresh unsuspecting souls from MBA programs, the weakest ones. They trap them with their promises of glamorous traveling jobs with lots of client interaction and money. The Bankers know that those who have already done Banking never want to return. But they also know that after Banking, a person has become defeated from years of being beaten down, and are therefore easily persuaded to return…

That is my problem. I came to business school to get as far away from Banking as possible. I wanted to get into Industry. Most probably the Healthcare industry. Possibly hospital administration. I wanted to actually have a work life balance. I wanted to have time for family, friends and salsa, and hopefully my own family someday. But then the Bankers arrived and I got confused. Did I want to go back to a bank? Banking, Trading & finance are the only things I know. I could do Wealth Management or Equity Research, I thought. Not as many hours, maybe only 12-14 a day. I am financially savy. I am comfortable with the markets. But if I wanted to do that, or any line of banking career, I had to act now. And that meant work work work and competition competition competition. There was no time to think about new careers. That was the Bankers’ plan. Industry was for slackers. But I came to business school to take a chance. Why was I afraid?

It is like you are in a dream, and you see yourself doing something really stupid, that you know is bad for you, but you can’t stop yourself. You watch yourself do it. I have already committed myself to attending the rest of the Investment Banking sessions, and most likely applying for an internship at a bank. But it feels like I am that person in the dream...

Now what should I do?